I Remember

A new piece of writing:

I remember the first time I saw you. I was intrigued by your beauty. I was captivated by your intelligence. I was slayed by your wit. I was heart-broken by your rejection. And all this within the first day.

From that point on, my passion only grew. 

You became my inspiration. You became the smile etching my face. You became the wings lifting me to heights previously unknown. You became the dream.

Then I melted within you.

You were the frog in my throat. You were tingling in my limbs. You were the sun upon my face. You were the grin of never ending joy. You were the giggle of a baby to my soul. You were the warmth within my heart. 

Then we parted. 

Yet, even half a world away, you were still my everything. You drowned my every thought. You stopped my heart with every text. You stayed me with the sound of your voice. You were the light at the end of the tunnel, the temptation to continue on.

Then began the decline.

Doubt entered, though I know it was always there. But when the door cracked open, years of insecurities piled in. I could not contain my fears. I could not temper my heart. I could not silence the memories which haunt me. I could not quell my loss of love.

Finally time torn us asunder.

I became desperate for hints of meaning. I searched for what we once had. I dreamed of the day I meant something, anything, more than just an echo of my own words. And the more I needed, the less I received.

In the end, I ripped us apart. 

I became a shadow of myself clinging to something so precious, so dear, I couldn't see the forest through the trees. I couldn't stand what I'd become as my temperament fluctuated like the weather. But I tried. I tried too hard to maintain something that could no longer be sustained until all that remained with a burning ache in the center of my chest.

Now I have nothing but a memory.

But it's been a time of discovery. First off, I shall never love like this again. Secondly, I shall never want to love like this again. Both are too painful. Both bring me to near tears. Both can never end well. Both leave me dying. Now nobody knows my troubles but God. I wonder if he cares.

You were my dream.