Relegated

So I'm reading through my romance novel and rediscovering a bit about myself when I came across this very short paragraph. I think it describes what we all should want along with what our problem could be. At least, I know it is in my case.

He wants to smile at just the thought of his ideal woman. He wants to enjoy sharing those surreal silences with someone who understands what they mean to him. He wants to share the joys and tears of a person as if they’re connected on a higher level. He wants undying passion. And of course, he knows he’s asking too much.

I think I might of posted this tidbit of writing before, but when I checked I didn't find it. Anyway, I recently updated it and thought I'd put it here.

Relegated: Relegated to a secondary thought, that is my status. Or rather it is how I think you view me because I’m longer the focus of your attention. In fact, to me it’s as if I’m the last thing on your mind. Meanwhile, I impatiently wait for some indication that you even care about me, but as the minutes tick into hours then days, I know my place within your world. It bothers me, not because it affects my life, though it does, but rather because it’s just plain rude. I’d never shove someone off to the side in such a manner and I find being treated in this way pushes me past the point of caring about how you’ll react to my disappearance. What really angers me, however, is that I hate myself for being drawn into such a situation, but that’s a problem I've dealt with for a long time. What’s nice is that this time I’m actually doing something about it. It doesn't feel good, far from it, but it settles the twists in my heart. I guess being decisive at times does limit the pain and gives a person a sense of worth. For a person of low self-esteem, it’s about adding a bit of pride among the sorrow. I must admit it’s not much, but it’s something. And of course it’s all I've got out of this turmoil. I wish it were different. I wish I could regain your sight, but I know I’d just vanish from it once again. Sadly, the truth is… you don’t care enough about me for me to be part of your life. Because of that, neither can I care about you…at least not anymore.